Wednesday, October 30, 2013
We have been on a bit of a roller coaster for the past few weeks... Tim and I got engaged over Irish Weekend. Four days later the baby got sick and we spent ten days at Children's hospital. I am still coming to terms with the experience, so I will not write about it here. I did a post about it on the baby's blog...and that's all I have to say about that.
Just as we were beginning to get back to normal, I lost my Nana. (Also covered on the baby blog) So...2013? I'm kinda over it.
But maybe I needed a kick in the ass to get over some other stuff too. All this misplaced concentration on trying to get ahead in my career? Over it.
Taking an English lit class on Wednesday night and spending my evenings reading novels and writing papers? Over it.
Living in the city? Over it.
Anything that doesn't involve spending time with my future husband or my kid? So fucking over it.
So to sum up:
Engagement - Yay!
Sick Baby - Boo!
Baby's Birthday - Yay!
Death in Family - Boo!
We are due for another "Yay!" any day now - and we are about ready for some good news or at least a little peace and quiet.
Also, I've got a 12-inch stack of thank you cards waiting on my desk at work, but if anyone out there is reading this, I want to thank anyone and everyone who prayed for us, sent us things, came to visit, made us food and sent good vibes and happy thoughts to our family in the past couple of weeks.
Even at the lowest point of my life, I have never felt so blessed and loved. Thank you!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
This post comes to you from my bed and my phone. Some thoughts on tonight's class.
First to raise my hand tonight and get discussion rolling. Have overcome shyness that characterized most of my school-going life. New found confidence.
Made me realize that I am l like this at work also and it has helped my career immensely. This is good.
Class went into overtime by 20 minutes. This is not good. Three hours is the limit of my tolerance for discussing one of Jane Austen's lesser known works.
Much difficulty reading the whole of Persuasion over labor day weekend. Old school brit lit is not my thing. Just marry him already.
There are 15 people in the class. Some undergrad geeks of a spectacular variety. They are incredibly smart and enthusiastic. English major types mostly... 13 out of 15 wear glasses. One girl in particular rocks the shit out of hers. She is Shakespeare expert and was wearing today a fantastic Charlotte's Web shirt.
One of them says "like" a lot. When asked by prof if there were questions about the syllabus, inquired if snacks were allowed in class. I quote Bad Santa to Thurman Merman when he discovers a candy corn in his advent calendar, "They can't all be winners, now can they?"
I am just glad I am not the candy corn.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Jane Eyre is the first book on the syllabus. "Oh yes...I am familiar with the book," I tell myself. "I have read it before. I have a good grasp of what it's all about." Then I begin reading it. Not a single sentence seems familiar to me. If I have ever read this book in my life, I have done some serious damage to my brain. I'm hoping that I just cliff-noted it in high school, or whenever the hell I was actually supposed to read it.
"This degree will be easy," I tell myself, "because I already have the thesis half way written. I have a 90 page paper that only needs to be completed." But where?? Where is the actual file? I don't even know if I even still have it.
I hope my brain is up for this challenge of obtaining more temporary knowledge that is soon to completely disappear.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
I felt bad about not being able to sculpt up a pair of cufflinks for her (and make $30 bucks for the saving account), but is it really worth the stress?
My whole life is kinda in vacation mode, although the word "vacation" takes on a whole new meaning when parenting is involved.
I was off from work last week because I had planned on attending the on-campus residency for the MFA program I enrolled in. After a lot of soul searching and advice from mentors formal and informal - I decided against it. Not only does spending $40 grand or so on a useless Masters degree seem irresponsible at this point in our lives, I am simply not capable of doing my best work at the moment. The writer's group has finally ended for the summer, and I am so happy to be relieved of that extra stress. It's also nice not to have Etsy orders hanging over my head. It's also part of the reason I've let this blog fall by the wayside a bit. (Although the baby's blog is close to 100 posts).
My daughter is nearly ten months old - and her babyhood is so fleeting. I'm taking some time off from extracurricular activities to just be what I have to be - a working mother with a household to run. I am starting to see how it effects all of us when things are running smoothly at home. When the house is clean, the laundry is done and a homecooked meal is on the table - we are just calmer, happier, less stressed. Do I really need more shit on the side?
Kind of... I did enroll in a MPhil program at Penn - but I plan on taking it really slow. I'm taking a class about novels in the fall. It directly addresses my thesis, it's only one night a week, and it's totally free. I have most of the books on my shelf already and the rest are free on the kindle. If I decide it's too much, I'll stop going. I'll take a semester off, a year off, 5 years off - but it will always be there if I ever feel like I need to do something for myself. I'm super excited about it.
I'm also brainstorming for ways to turn our extra bathroom into a combination powder room/mini sculpey studio. I'm thinking wire shelving in the stand-up shower we currently use for storage.
I'm waiting for Tim to ask me what I want for my birthday this year. It has been so long since I could even think of anything I needed for myself. But now that I don't just buy whatever I want anymore - I have some ideas. Ikea gift certificate. I want that damn Norden Sideboard to organize the mail - and shower shelves for my sculpey stuff. And because my life requires extra fuel - a Keurig.
So that is all - not much fodder for the old blog these days. Busy, happy, rolling along.
Here is my big girl exploring the beach:
Thursday, July 11, 2013
This is what's going on in my world of writing (not writing).
I accepted enrollment to the MFA program, but I haven't yet applied for financial aid. I'm terrified to bite the bullet on that one, especially since we want to get married and buy a house. It begins in less than a month.
I am ignoring scary emails from Penn, saying that if I don't indicate my intention to enroll soon, my acceptance will be rescinded. I was hoping this could be a fallback in case I wimp out of the MFA.
I re-joined the RWG for two reasons. One, to help me prepare some material to be handed in August 1st, prior to my first MFA residency - and two, to prove to myself that I still have the time and the will to write.
Truth be told - I am having a lot of difficulty keeping up with the workload.
The experiment seems to be failing, but the true test will be tomorrow's 5 p.m. deadline. Do I have the brainpower/enough caffeine in my body to turn 5 pages of rambling bullshit into an acceptable short story by then?
I certainly fucking hope so.
Friday, May 31, 2013
I'm currently awaiting the arrival of a bunch of fun things in the mail.
1. A flash drive containing the family photos we had taken a month ago. They are so colorful and fun and we have approximately zero photos of the three of us together. I am so excited to get them.
2. A package from Victoria's Secret containing:
- 2 upgraded (I prefer this term) bikinis for our Mexico trip;
- Non-granny panties (gave into the temptation of comfort during pregnancy and having a bit of trouble letting go);
- 2 pairs of sequined sandals - again, Mexico.
I've already been notified via email that I got in - now I need to decide which one to do, or if it's feasible to do both concurrently.
Definitely leaning toward the MFA, which is very regimented. It involves a cohort of 15 people, who are with you for the full two years of the program. I will meet these 14 people in August and most likely travel to Scotland with them next summer. It's kind of a strange feeling to look at a list of names and think - some of these people may become new friends, and let's be honest - I will probably hate at least one or two of them. Either way, I'll be connected to them for a long time and they will inevitably have some kind of impact on my life. Also - in a complete 180 from college and my first round of graduate school - I find myself hoping that none of the men are attractive. Cute boys can do nothing but complicate my life at this point.
Good thing I already have one at home who will pose for family photos even though he'd rather get stabbed in the eyeballs, tolerate the granny panties, and support me in any and all ill-advised endeavors no matter how expensive, like collecting master's degrees.
I'm going to be so pissed if my mailbox is empty when I get home.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
People who take the elevator to go up or down one floor. Seriously? Unless you are physically disabled, old, or pregnant - It won't kill you to take the fucking stairs.
People who board the elevator and without even looking you in the eye say something like, "Four, please." What the fuck do I look like? A bellhop? Do you see me wearing a stupid hat and brass buttons? I don't work in the elevator. I don't live to serve you. Press the goddamn button yourself.
People who look into the crowded elevator with a disgusted look on their face and proclaim, "I'll wait for the next one." I'm sorry, do we smell? You caused the elevator to stop and then you reject it? Fuck you.
Similarly, people who with ten suitcases, a pallet of boxes or an extra 300 pounds or so that try to squeeze into an already crowded elevator. No room for you and all your shit. Wait 20 seconds for the next one.
And also - dude who says, "C'mon in, we got room!" and then backs up and presses you against the wall. Hello? This physical space is already occupied.
People who stand directly in front of the doors while waiting for the elevator. This goes for the subway too. Please, back your ass up and allow people to disembark.
People who hold open the elevator in order to keep talking to someone in the hallway. By all means, finish your conversation. I'll wait. After all, my life is not as important as yours.
And there you have it - a complete bitchfest about the elevator that doesn't even include things like bodily functions and mundane comments regarding the weather or what day of the week it presently "feels" like.
I should probably just take the stairs...